Only one voice pierces through
The scraping of the chalk against the board as
words are being told into a story
History is being taught
Students watch with boredom crossing their faces
except one
A squeak or two from a chair but everything is still
Its just a classroom
where blacks and white can sit with no disturbance
I may look white but am truly black but I learn just like everyone else
Each word escaping her lips
I grasp more of the world
the knowledge growing inside me
my new desire to learn
in class I sit
I feel my skin has no affect
I'm normal for once in Central High in Muncie, Indiana
My classmates stutter for an answer
While I scream it in my head
Finally my lips speak for the screams in my mind
I'm right
did you write this? it sounds like it is straight from a book! i like the line "finally my lips speak for the screams in my mind"! sometimes i wish i say some of the things that are in my mind outloud!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you said silence fills the air. It makes it seem like everyone is so focused and so determined on learning that it's just a quiet place.
ReplyDeleteI love the classroom. It feels stale and boring.
ReplyDeleteI like the jump from skin color to ideas and words, which are colorless. I also like escaping words that feel like whispers compared to the screams.
This is really good. It seems like you are trying to write as the character would. It is very deep. good job!
ReplyDeleteI love how the ideas and answers are screaming from within are maybe like his identity. He only whispers his answer like his skin is only a small part of who the character is.
ReplyDeleteYour first part of the poem tells a lot about the location. I could have probably guessed that it was a class room even if you had not mentioned it. I really like the line where it says "the knowledge growing inside me
ReplyDeletemy new desire to learn." I can feel the character's ambition and desire to learn
I love the way you describe the classroom, I can see the scene during a class. Very good.
ReplyDeleteI love how you wrote from the characters perspective, this adds so much voice to your poem. I also love the last line, "Finally my lips speak for the screams in my mind." It is so powerful and the idea of speaking for screams contrats like the blacks and white, or the silence and piercing noise of the chalk.
ReplyDeleteI can perfectly envision the classroom in your first stanza. Your descriptive language about the chalk scraping against the board sets the scene in my mind, and actually made me cringe a little bit. I really like how you explained the student learning more about the world, being what seems to be, the only person following along with the teacher's lesson.
ReplyDeleteEach line of your poem is very descriptive, giving a great sense of what is happening and how the character feels. I especially like the line, "Silence fills the air
ReplyDeleteOnly one voice pierces through." Nice job.
"Each word escaping her lip, I grasp more of the world." It's a fitting line because you really make it clear that even though school might not be the most fun place to be, you appreciate being given the knowledge to help you in life. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing poem. It is very descriptive and shows ow dull class can be sometimes. I really like the stanzas "Students watch with boredom crossing their faces/ except one." The character is the only one interested because he wants to learn and is interested. I too like history class and have "the knowledge growing inside me" just like he wants to. I feel a good connection with the character.
ReplyDelete