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**fictional story somewhat inspired by the movie Amy**

A place where all secrets must be told, hiding is impossible, your nightmares are the only thing you know. Welcome to my life.  It wasn't always like this. Just a year ago at this time I was smiling. I was normal. I was me. Now I sit with my knees close to my chest remembering how the tears felt sliding down my cheeks. The white walls close in on me as I drown out all the voices. Silence brings me comfort. It's the only thing that does now a days.

Everyone knows. They try hard to let me think I don't know. But I know things they could never imagine. I see it in the white bare walls.  I see it in the darkness of my eyelids. I see it in the words engraved in my mind. Words are what put me here. Words are my lock to dissolving into this state of nothingness.  And they don't think I know. HA! Knowing is what brought me here. 

1 year, 5 months, 21 days I have been here counting the endless tiles that camouflage in its surroundings. Everything is white. The dividing lines of the tiles are white. Its hard to count but I manage.   I have doctors constantly walking in and out of my room. Each encounter filled with less hope for me to recover from my state of mind. I'm hopeless. I know. That word filled with other derogatory words remain etched in my mind. You know that little voice in your head that taunts you in your time of already feeling low?  Well, I hear that voice everyday. Every single minute repeating the words I read 1 year , 5 months and 21 days ago. Its gotten to the point where I actually believed it. To the point of where those words are my lullaby for sleep I desperately desire. Its also the noise that haunts me to be awake.

I guess I should thank you. I really should I mean you are right. You got what you wanted didnt you? Im here. No where close to your rising power. I'm just a single speck of dirt on your clean white clothing.  But knowing you, your probably silently thanking me. Here is my silent welcome to you.  I wont let you know how much I wanted you to succeed but now I hope otherwise. I hope you burn. Burn like I did. Feel as I do. Lose all of what I lost. Myself. 

Just one page. Who would of thought one piece of paper with words that I plotted on that paper would put me here. The one thing I loved more than anything is why I am here. I never thought it was that great. But apparently the public thinks otherwise.  Now I think otherwise.  I wish I said something. Something different then silence. Different then your control. I should have known. Not only have you let me in a long lasting death, you dont care. So now I dont care. I don't care about anything. 

One last look at the bright walls before my sleep haunts me with many scenarios of my could of been life.